Dread Summons Met
by Dante's Muse
Summary: L Manipulates to get what he wants, can Light keep his sanity?
1. Hate

No Death Own Note

I don't know why this went back to the top... I'm sorry. All I did was edit a little. sorry sorry sorry!

Read at own risk, written by an emotionally unstable woman.

may lead to heart palpitations, excess salvation, Intense rage over the author's bastardization of the written word, giant question marks over one's head, suicidal tendencies, and perversions of original series impression. Read on my pretties.

L/Light romance/... er... never mind just angst

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"If you don't let me sleep now I swear to god…" Raito left the rest unvoiced but punctuated his meaning by grasping the detectives shoulders and weakly slamming him into the carpeted floor.

"You swear to god Raito kun? I was under the impression that you did not believe in organized religion."

Light growled and stood quickly, ignoring the wave of dizziness from lack of sleep, and pulling cruelly on the cuffs that linked him to L.

The detective rose on his haunches but did not rise or allow the teen to continue forward. A sharp tug at the chain from L's side made the teen spin around to face the detective a look of utter rage on his face.

"I would very much like Raito kun to finish his sentiment. What would you swear to _god_?" Said the detective. Placing as much emphasis on the word god as his monotonous tone would allow.

Light clenched his fists; a dangerous look flitted through his eyes.

He pulled on the chain that connected them more viciously than L had done, and it caused the detective to stumble off his toes and on to his knees.

"L I'm very tired and I don't feel very well. You haven't slept in two days you must be tired too. I'm not like you, I function better only with a full night's rest. I can't be of any help to you in this state." Light tried to reason rubbing the pain from his temples.

"Raito kun thinks he is invaluable to this investigation, but I can assure you, he is not. There is no need for him to be in top shape." L finally stood and sauntered over to Light who backed away only slightly.

"I think that he is of more use to me, aesthetically." L's eyes roved over the teen's lissome frame. Light blushed furiously both with rage and embarrassment. L had been hinting to an attraction the last week or so, with seemingly inconspicuous caresses, and furtive glances. All of which brang color to the normally stoic teen's face.

L could only guess that there was an equal attraction there to arouse such a response from his captive. The thought excited him, and of course every detail would be explored and possible outcomes examined.

Suddenly Light pulled back his fist and struck the detective in the eye, Aiming to mar that smug face with a violent violet. Past experience with the two exchanging fisticuffs gave Light the forethought to follow the falling detective forward some so that he would not be pulled down with the detective.

At the moment that would be very inconvenient to Light's argument and virtue, for if he were to follow the detective down, the elder would most assuredly notice what his ambilent gaze to Light's body had done to his physiology and psyche, the evidence now beginning to show through the heavy fabric of his pants.

He turned away to end the interaction and hide his obvious problem. But L had already noticed and was quickly forming a plan. He sprang to his feet wrapping his arm around Light's front to sweep him back and off his feet but unexpectedly instead of L slamming the youth into the ground to knock the air from his lungs he lowered the boy to the ground slowly.

L knelt hunched over the boy staring into Light's reddening face for a moment. Light growled more at himself than L. What was wrong with him? He had never had a problem controlling his physical reactions before. Sure he had neglected his adolescent urges for far longer than he wanted, what with his detention and now L's close personal scrutiny.

But surely he had never had a problem when it came to blushing, especially in the face of an 'enemy'

"I wonder…" L placed his index finger to his lips, not before darting out his tongue to moisten them seductively. "What is the basis for Raito kun's arousal?" So the bastard had noticed. The detective's eyes once again wandered the teen's fidgeting body as a firm hand placed on his chest, pushed him down into the plush carpet.

"Is it perhaps just a fluke? After all He has neglected himself for several weeks now. I believe the last time he had attended to his urges was May fifth in the shower… or perhaps it was my attentions?" The hand on Lights chest moved as if L was only steadying himself but it only served to exacerbate his condition as the hand pulled rough fabric over the teen's now sensitive nipples.

Light tried to rise, but the detective pushed him down partially kneeling now on his arm that lay pinned in the small between L's ankles and shins.

"Or… Is it that Raito kun enjoys being restrained? Perhaps enjoying playing the part of victim? That does seem his forte…" the detective reached a hand down to lightly trace the seam of Light's jeans where they bulged. Light's head shot up at the touch and his face connected with L's head. His mouth was crushed, L's skull faired better than Light's now bleeding lip. The teen yelped, but he was thankful for the pain as it drew the blood out of where L's eyes where fixated.

"Fuck you, you bastard. Get off of me." Light ground out between clenched and bloody covered pearls. L pondered a moment more before straddling the young man's chest.

"I could show Light a much more enjoyable and less violent way to kiss if he wishes to do so." Light groaned. This was madness!

"Get the fuck off me!"

"I would gladly do so if Raito kun would only give me an answer to my previous question."

"You are a bastard." The swollen, crimson lips and tongue transfixed L's eyes as it attempted to stem the flow of blood. L shifted his weight lower down the teens abdomen, feeling now his partially erect manhood between the layers of cloth. He shifted experimentally and Light Squinted and let out a scintillating moan.

"Fuck you!" His mouth said but his face was contorted in pleasure. Something awoke in L and he vowed right then that he would see this face like that much more often, preferably mid-coitus. L shifted again neglecting his own erection but thrusting it on Light's abdomen to make his own excitement apparent.

Light's eyes flung open to stare bewildered at the detective atop him. The teen searched his eyes as if to verify that L truly was in a similar state to himself.

L found it endearing and a little sad watching the amazement on the teens face. He had expected the detective to be doing this out of spite, perhaps in malice? He wanted to scoop up the teen and assure him that his intentions weren't so cruel. But he didn't, He was sure the action would have made the teen too uncomfortable. And he wasn't sure himself if his intentions were cruel or not.

Instead he leaned over and slowly laved the swollen lip. Tasting the copper, and knowing it must hurt.

His lips caressed Light's own but there was no delving. Light's mouth too tender for such a step. When L leant back another moan escaped past secure confines. The teen bit his tongue. L watched the youth's face carefully, inspecting his partner and nemesis.

He was willing to do whatever it took to capture Kira. No matter the risk. And as he looked into the darkened and half lidded eyes. Seething rage just barely bubbling to the surface he knew that his heart had an 87 percent chance of becoming broken before this case was solved.

"I think it might be all of the above. Am I right?" Light was raggedly breathing and licking his bleeding lip furiously. He wanted so very much to be angry with the detective but it was fading and he found his resolve fast fading.

Light's head was light and he found he couldn't even focus on L's face. The situation began to fully sink in. L was sitting atop him grinding their denim-clad erections together. And the tension was more than he had ever felt before. His eyes sought out L's but wavered even though the detectives eyes where but a foot away from his face.

"Get off!" The noise left his mouth with such a tone that spoke of his wanton state instead of the actual words. L smirked as he realized the power he held over the teen. He shifted again and Light let out a strangled moan. He bit his lip unconsciously and yelped at his mistake. Tears welled in his eyes.

L was incredibly turned on, but he rose to his feet nonetheless. They needed some ice for Light's lip and L's eye. As soon as L was off of the writhing teen, Light shot to his feet and ran to the bathroom. L watched in indifference as the bathroom door slammed, the teen careful of the chain placing it in the notch that had been carved to allow at least the illusion of privacy. He reached for the phone and contacted Watari for the ice. He placed the order. And reached onto the bed for his notebook.

The screen displayed the list of cameras positioned around the compound. L shamelessly clicked on the one for the adjoining bathroom.

It depicted Light hunched over, his back to the door. He was curled up protectively around himself. With his head in his hands. L chuckled lightly. He watched Light rise to his feet and approach the mirror to inspect his lip. He dabbed at it with a wet washcloth and flinched. L called out from his position on the floor next to the door.

"Watari is bringing some ice." Light spins around instantly searching the upper corners of the room for the camera. He found it placed conveniently above the shower pointed down to the glass cubicle and the rest of the bathroom.

With grinding teeth and tight lips he readies himself for bed and exits the bathroom. He does not dare to meet L's eyes He climbs beneath the covers and squeezes his eyes shut. Wishing his situation and erection away. But L will not allow Light a peaceful rest. Having one so sleep deprived is the best way to get information out of almost anyone.

He will continue on with his typing and he will have Watari bring in various amusements and sweets to periodically waken the teen. Light will crack soon. Be it one way or another. The dominos are starting to tip, and they are in L's favor.


	2. Diamond

Light knew that L had no doubt in his mind that he was Kira. That thought infuriated him. Nonetheless L was continuing his advances towards the teen. That thought enraged Light more so. Their first fight had been over the fact that L had lost inspiration.

Light had correctly interpreted that as to mean, there was no need to search else where for Kira, he was sitting right here in this living room. 'I'm depressed because I can't incriminate him yet.' So Light did some thing brash.

Something he would never have done where he in any other situation. He threw a punch and landed it. He had initiated the first physical fight between them, fueled by his treatment while he was detained and the terrifying fake execution incident.

But even then, it was a partial mask. Light was so very good with masks.

Venetian in quality, never dull and always intricate.

But it had been easy to tell himself that it was a simple attraction. He had always known he was attracted to intelligence. Of course he would become smitten with the most intelligent person he had ever met.

It was just an obstacle. Light would prove his own innocence and in the process Demean and crush L. If L didn't want to do the work that was fine. More credit to him then.

Light typed away furiously on the console. The deaths from what appeared to be Kira had stopped for the past few days. Light having already researched the murders, was now devising a program to easily run comparisons between all the murder victims. But he kept making errors, due to the fact that he was so exhausted. L was idly snacking away at some Koala's March and typing repetitiously.

It was already late and the rest of the team had departed to their homes. When they began to file out Light felt a twinge of jealousy hit him.

"Light would you look at this, and give me your input?" Light stretched and slid his chair over to L's own console.

"What is it?"

"In the beginning of my suspicion towards you, in my surveillance you bought almost an entire bushel of apples in less than a month."

"…I remember buying them, I craved apples so what?" Light looked on unimpressed.

"Do you remember eating all those apples?"

"Should I take note of every detail for the rest of my life such as eating fruit? So that I might escape suspicion of murder?"

"I only wonder because eating that many apples would have had an effect on your physiology. When we took some blood during your detainment there was no heightened level of vitamin C. Plus we examined your teeth and the enamel was fine. Eating that many apples in that short of a time can also effect your bowel movements." Light blushed.

To be honest with himself He didn't remember eating any apples at all.

But so what, how could apples incriminate him?

"Do you remember these?" L handed over the photos taken of messages that prisoners had left before being killed by Kira.

"Of course, 'L, do you know shinigami's only eat apples?' This is hardly proof L."

"True, but it is food for thought." L seemed to dismiss Light. Light stomped back to his computer.

"Damn annoying aspergers freak." Light mumbled.

"What was that Raito kun?"

"Nothing."

"Actually you are correct, I do have Aspergers but it's very mild." Light snorted then yawned. L watched for a few moments. Suddenly the cuff pulled Lights arm and the force of it rolled his chair over next to the detective.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing."

"You look a little perturbed at the information I just gave you. May I tell you my hypothesis?"

"Don't let me stop you." Says Light around another yawn.

"Please listen to me Yagami kun. I want you to understand where I am coming from. I know you are an intelligent being, and you should know that if there is any doubt at all it should be investigated." He manipulates, he twists.

Light Yagami is Kira, he is sure of it. This is merely for investigation's sake. Finally Light agrees and allows the detective to continue.

"I think that some how you no longer have knowledge of the fact that you are Kira." Light tenses but he did not interrupt.

"Your memory has been taken. You have admitted yourself that the details of you and Missa are hazy at best, the deaths stopped when you were confined at first, and now these apples…" Light's own mind was in turmoil. He would never kill so many people but the facts where there. And he had the distinct impression that his mind had been tampered with

"I'm not Kira!" Light exclaims but his body is oddly stiff and still. L wonders if that exclamation was for L or Light himself

"But what if you were at one point." L is shocked as the teen begins to shiver. His teeth chattering in his skull. The teen wraps his arms around himself.

"I…"

"What?" L pushes.

"I'm not Kira." But the statement is weak.

"Ok so what if I was Kira and I lost my memory of it." Light looked up at L, His eyes rimmed with black from exhaustion. Much like L's own.

"Then you should be under surveillance. You should be detained…" Suddenly Light stands and his effeminate hands flutter to his mouth. His face has changed to a strange gray color; L understands and quickly rushes Light into the bathroom.

Light proceeds to empty his stomach into the ceramic basin. A twinge of guilt strikes L, due to the lack of sleep Light was not very hungry today and the only thing he had eaten was a bowl of pork ramen with sprouts. He now had nothing in his stomach.

L's conscience was raging and he knelt besides the still dry heaving Light with a glass of crisp water and he placed a hand on his back rubbing soothing circles.

When Light was finished he stood and wavered so that L insisted on helping him up to their room, where Light immediately brushed his teeth. When he finished, he turned untrusting eyes on L.

So long he had been on his own. No confidant. He seemed to be gauging his own courage and L's competence as someone whom he could talk to.

'Everything I say will be put through the formula that I am Kira but…' The teen's thoughts flitted back to the earlier conversation. Was he Kira?

All thoughts of self-preservation were cast aside as he decided to alleviate his mind with the easy way out.

"L What if I am Kira?" L tasted the bitterness that came with this small victory. He only wanted Light to see that his being Kira was a very feasible possibility, but then why did he feel so rotten for going about it this way?

L enveloped Light in a warm embrace in the dark of the bathroom. Light froze in his grasp. He was stiff for a long time, but soon his shoulders sagged and he let himself soak in the much-needed comfort to his frazzled psyche.

But with the relief came the tears.

Light remembered once he had spun out on his bike in a gravel pit when he was much younger. His leg had road burn all up the side of it, but he walked with dignity the entire two miles back to his home. He would be all right. Blood tended to exaggerate itself, and he was no little boy.

But when he opened the front door and his mother caught site of him, instantly fawning all over him, worried, dismayed. 'Oh my god! Light honey! Are you alright?' Instantly his younger self burst into tears.

He imagined that this was similar.

"L, what if I am Kira?" Light asked again more franticly.

"Then you should be punished accordingly. You know as well as I that Kira must experience real justice." Light nodded against L's shoulder.

He allowed himself to be lead to the bed. L handed him his nightclothes and he changed quickly. His pride did not allow him to speak out his fears anymore. All he wanted now was to sleep. And L allowed him that. If only for tonight.


	3. Iron

The next day is fake and full of sun. No words of any weakness on Lights part from the night before travel past L's lips and for that Light is thankful. He sees L now differently as he gazes at the man with a bowl of cinnamon Life placed before him. He watches as L holds the spoon now and how he was once told that the way L held that spoon was once incriminating evidence in America to identify socialists, and spies. The notion is ridiculous and he laughs quietly to himself.

I am Righteous.

Am I Kira?

What if I am Kira?

What if Kira is manipulating me?

Am I being framed?

If I were being framed though, L would see it. He is the smartest person I've ever met. Can I trust L to prove I'm innocent?

Unbeknownst to Light his mind was sorting through pieces of his memory and trying to cope with his thoughts.

Missa, he had met her on his way home, she had wanted to show him something? No it wasn't that. She had seen him at school, she became smitten. They had kissed that very night. But why?

She was attractive, but Light had never had any problems attracting beautiful women. He would never have initiated a relationship with some one he had just met. Especially not some one who seemed as dense as she had.

But she did have a hidden intelligence. She did. But how did he know that. How? HOW!?

He grabbed at his head and squeezed his eyes shut. A terrible pain pierced his skull and he almost threw up. He bit his tongue when his vocal chords threatened to act out on their own.

He felt a hand on his shoulders but didn't dare to open his eyes.

"Raito kun? Raito kun you're bleeding, what's wrong?" He felt something hot and wet drip down from his nose. He tasted blood. He was bleeding

"Light? Light!" His fathers voice came into focus, as well as Mogi's. But there was something else. Above it all he heard a dark chuckling in the background.

Kukuku

"Kira?" He gasped, eyes shooting open, all light vanished except L's face. His body started to convulse. Matsuda and Yagami san watched in horror as the young prodigy began to thrash in his seat.

L went into action immediately, pulling light onto the floor from his chair and pushing an emergency button for Watari. He turned back to Light and focused on holding his thrashing limbs down. He placed his arm behind light's head to stop it from its repeated pounding on the floor.

A seizure, L thought letting a breath out. At first he had thought…a heart attack.

Watari rushed into the room with a cot stretcher. He maneuvered around Light's father who stood staring on in fascination at witnessing such a horrible thing. Matsuda clenched and unclenched his fists as he watched a thin trail of blood begin to seep out from the side of Light's mouth.

"It's a seizure it should be over soon. They watched but L noted that the seizure was lasting too long. There was a very real and very terrifying chance that brain damage could occur. He held the boy more securely.

After what seemed like ages the convulsing ended leaving an unconscious Light on the floor. Beginning to show the signs of shock. Watari and L placed him onto the stretcher and lifting an end each they made their way to the elevator.

"Shouldn't we go to the hospital?" a frantic matsuda followed the trio towards the hall.

"No, if this was Kira's doing I do not want him leaving the facility. We have all the capabilities to take good care of him here." L glanced behind Matsuda to watch Yagami san staring off towards the monitor still as the elevator doors slid shut.

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Two hours later Light awoke with a scream. Clawing at invisible monsters he shot up into a sitting position and began tearing at the IV he had been given and the tubes that threatened to strangle him. Arms wrapped around him, but he clawed at the back of his captor.

"Shhhh light kun. You will be all right, you are all right now. Shh shh shh." Light Clamped his mouth shut as he realized he had been screaming. Above L's calming voice. He slowly let it begin to soothe him.

He finally began to calm. His heart threatened to break free of its bone cage. It fluttered in his chest like a frightened bird. He did not let L go. He began to soak in his surroundings, he was in a vacant room, white and sterile but it wasn't lit. It was dark with only the clean light of day partially filtering though the white curtains.

"L what happened?" He felt L's hold on him tighten and the detective began to shake with a slight tremor.

"You had a seizure. Light, do you remember anything that could have triggered it?"

"I…no. I remember waking up this morning and that's it."

"That's normal with a seizure." L finally began to extricate himself from Light. "How do you feel? L's eyes were as unreadable as always, and Light's heart was settling within his chest.

"Nauseous. Headache."

"That's also normal. You need some rest. Do you want to sleep here or upstairs?" Light looked around at the white and cold room.

"Upstairs?" He asked weakly.

"All right," L stood and offered Light his hand. He contacted Watari and told him he was putting Light to bed. Watari agreed and said he would notify the others.

With L's help they made it upstairs. Light's heart oddly swelled at the sight of his and L's shared bed. He walked over to it and gingerly lay down. His stomach felt horrible and his headache was pounding onto his skull with the ebb and force of the entire ocean, it felt. L sighed and retrieved Lights night garments from where Light had neatly folded them on the armoire.

He made his way towards Light and reached for the buckle of Light's pants. Light's eyes shot open and his hands fluttered awake as well, as he tried to push the offending hands away. L placed his left hand, the one with the cuff on Lights cheek, cupping his face gently. He looked into Light's eyes assuringly then made his way back to Light's pants.

"Let me take care of you. You are sick."

"L I can do that myself. Stop fussing." Light tried to sit up but L placed a hand on Light's chest and pushed him back down onto the covers. He quickly undid Light's pants and removed them. Light blushed furiously then L slid first on leg then the other into the pajama bottoms. He helped Light sit up and pulled the flannel up the rest of the way.

He then slid his hands up lights chest under the shirt and began to lift the fabric over his head. Light held his arms up obediently. The shirt showed to have some blood on it.

When was I bleeding?

"Your nose bled before the seizure and then you bit your tongue."

"Oh." Feeling for the first time his bruised and battered tongue.

L didn't bother with putting on his nightshirt. He quickly changed into his own nightclothes and crawled onto the bed. Behind Light. He wrapped his arm around the boy and pulled him close.

"L…This is ridiculous. Stop treating me like spun glass."

"I thought… I thought it was Kira." L admitted. Light held his breath.

"How could it be, you are so sure that I am Kira."

"Yes but there are always doubts and with this case… there are many. How do you feel now?" Light blushed and was thankful for the thick curtains blocking out the light.

"Better thanks." Suddenly L shifted Light onto his back so that L was leaning over him. Lights eyes having adjusted to the dark could see that L's eyes were bright with something. Worry?

"Raito kun… please don't hate me for this." L's face descended down ward to meet Lights lips. His lips were warm and persistent. A tongue easily found its way into Light's mouth tracing slowly Light's perfect teeth. Lights own mouth was open in shock and his sore tongue sat idle, caught completely off guard.

Lights mind flitted around the prospect that L was doing this as mere manipulation. He was trying to seduce the person that he thought was Kira. Yet this tender kiss. So soft. It spoke of careful emotions and quiet affection. Was L on par with Light's own acting skills? Light doubted it. Still he was so sure this was nothing but a ploy.

When L finally pulled away. Light's hand found his swollen lips and he touched them staring wide-eyed at the detective. As if trying to read him. As if trying to decipher the meaning behind it. Suddenly his eyes darkened. How dare L manipulate his emotions like that.

But then… I'm not much better.

Light cringed suddenly as pain shot through his skull but as quick as it came it was over with.

L noticed and sat up

"What happened? What's the matter?"

"Nothing, I am fine. I'm just tired. Let me sleep?" L nodded.

He watched as very quickly Light fell into the telltale signs of sleep almost just as quickly he began his REM cycles that spoke of how sleep deprived he was.

"Forgive me Raito… but I must know."

L's face creased with sadness. And no one was there to see this extremely uncharacteristic L.


	4. Mahogany

Light experiences the most vivid dream he has ever had that night. He thinks back to the time before he was incarcerated and never before had he dreamt so vividly.

Always in black and white, and always cold and emotionless. But this dream is full of vibrant hues. Scarlet blood. Indigo shadows. Putrid greens. Hollow blues.

He is running and that should have been his first clue that it was a dream but his mind did not find it necessary to clarify. Running away from something and towards it simultaneously. A simple chant echoes through his mind that he is not Infact, Kira. But then there is L and the pale face now looming over him is full of accusation, and… pity?

"You are Kira, Light" He says in his dead pan voice. Light instantly crumbles to the gravelly ground.

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because I am L." There is a bright flash off in the distance and Light knows that this is apocalypse and it is fast approaching. L is swept away by the wicked wind from the blast.

Light sees him in a house. Secure from the fallout. Surrounded with what he knows is 6 inch leaded walls to protect. But there is a small window and he is allowed to look in. He sees L smiling. He is typing rapidly at the main computer console and chatting away with some one. But who?

He watches through the heavy glass as L turns his back on the one he was so animatedly talking to, and Light finds himself screaming. How could L be so stupid?

"L! No He'll…" but his words go unheeded as the figure L had been conversing with looms over him. A shadow turns his white shirt gray there is a flash of light as he witnesses a knife rise into the air suddenly falling like and echo of its guillotine cousin from century's past and the knife is hilt deep in L's back.

And Light sees that it is his hand on the dagger. And it is his hands covered in blood. He brings the hand up to his face and stairs at the glistening burgundy. He is transfixed. He is mesmerized.

Missa walks forward from the shadows. A black as night frock hugs her form and small beautiful breasts pushed up by folds, are very visible above the dark corset the same color as L's Life had been. Her milky skin is luminescent in the dull light. She smiles demurely and reaches out her hand towards him.

"You've done it my lord!" She sounds oddly hollow. Like only a recording of herself. "Let us reign together! I your queen, you my god." Her voice booms in the small oddly tilting room.

"No."

"Yes, my savior!"

"No, no NO NO NO!" Light clasps his hands to his head and feels claws digging into his skull. He pulls his hands away to see gray sallow skin and long black claws.

"NO!" He turns from her and runs blindly out into the snow of which he knows is a nuclear winter. His legs drag like they are in cement instead of radioactive snow. He is so cold. So lost. And now, so alone.

He falls to the ground and lets tears fall from his face. After all there is no one left. No one left to witness his weakness.

He feels hands at his shoulders lifting him from the ground. His tear filled eyes try to focus on the pale form before him. It is L. He is not dead!

"Are you sure this is the path you wish to take?"

"Yes." His voice is weak.

"Good." The detective doesn't say another word but throws light onto his stomach on the snow covered ground and pulls his arms behind his back painfully.

"You have the right to remain silent…" Light was wrong, L is no companion. He is truly alone.

Light sits up in bed sweating and screaming. Warm arms wrap around him. But he fights them off. His mouth is dry and it feels as if he has bitten into an apple from the shinigami world.

His mind reels at how he knows what apples from the shinigami realm taste like? Another piercing pain rips though his skull.

"Ku ku ku"

"No no no no no no no no no." Light falls from the bed gracelessly and scrapes his chin on the carpet. He blindly finds where the bed and the wall meet and curls in on himself there. His hands too afraid to clasp over his ears, he might feel claws. The laughing continues.

"Ku ku ku."

"GO AWAY!" He screams but then warm arms wrap around him and it is L he sees. But this makes him more terrified.

"Get away from me! Please!" But L doesn't listen. He holds him quietly. When Light allows himself to slacken some. L pulls Light into his lap like some over grown doll. And he cradles him there.

"…Just a dream. It was just a dream." Light hears what L has been saying. His voice is a little high-pitched And Light seizes that knowledge that L has been unnerved and wraps it around himself like a warm blanket.

"What time is it?"

"4:30"

"All right... I have to go to the bathroom." Light stood and as he stood it seems he left his shattered visage on the floor next to the bed. He is resolved and unshakeable again, hiding the fact that he can barely stand, and that his heart just might explode.

L allows Light to gather his clothes and head for the shower. Unlocking the cuffs and locking Light in the bathroom. He makes his way back over to the bed gingerly he picks up the capped and now empty needle. And slides it into the drawer next to his bed.

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Light was rather off all day. He couldn't seem to focus and his mind kept returning to the dream he had last night.

He was depressed. He felt his heart swelled with Sorrow and pain. He feared it would swell further and explode and he imagined that the noise would be audible. A sickeningly wet pop.

It seemed his heart was pressing upon his spinal column and lungs, for his arms and legs were weak and numb and he had trouble breathing.

Everyone had noticed Light's dark mood and his lethargy. His father was worried his son was becoming ill, and insisted L let him retire early.

L begrudgingly agreed, but truth was he had been planning to have an early night. He rose from his seat the teams eyes on him and Light who was sitting curled up in his chair much like L usually was.

He approached Light and when he placed his hand on light's shoulders the shivering teen jumped.

Looking up at L with wide eyes, he allowed the detective to help him to his feet and up the stairs. He felt that his weakened state should have unnerved him. Should have angered him. But he was not angry.

He sat on the toilet and took the toothbrush after L had put paste on it and handed it to him. He brushed never taking his eyes from the detective.

He looked at him as if L might disintegrate where he stood. Or Punch him in the face. L was amused how the teen could handle both fear and worry. He smiled to himself when he though of how two faced it was.

"Raito kun, you had a dream last night and it really has disturbed you, may I be so bold as to ask what it was about?" L watched carefully as Light's eyes fell to the cream coloured tile beneath his bare feet.

"I don't remember." A blatant lie and L could see through it but he didn't press…yet.

When L made it a point to return the teen's stare in earnest the youth quickly looked away and began brushing furiously. Spitting into the ceramic basin he rose to his feet and waited for L to lead the way into the bedroom. But L first took a bottle of aspirin from the cupboard and offered it to Light.

"How'd you know?"

"I saw you rubbing your neck earlier, and your eyes get rimmed with red when you've got a headache." Light shrugged and took the pill.

L hooked his arm around his "friend" and led him to the bed. He threw Light his nightclothes, purposely neglecting to give him the shirt and began to change himself.

"L?"

"Yes ratio kun."

"I don't want to be Kira."

"Is that an affirmation?"

"I… If I am Kira… I want…." Light paused for a long moment. He looked back at L and looked sheepishly at the detective. "Never mind. I'm just tired. I probably sound like an idiot right now. I never knew lack of sleep could get to me like this." L bit the inside of his cheek.

"Light? You understand I'm attracted to you right?" L said around his thumb, as if he hadn't just dropped this giant bomb. Lights jaw dropped as he stared at the detective.

"Wha…What?" It was very warm in the room Light noticed. He was glad that he wasn't wearing a shirt.

"I have to say that Raito kun really can't think when he is lacking sleep. I have been trying to show you for two weeks now that I am attracted to you. I like you."

Light spun around and placed his hands on his knees trying to steady the wave of dizziness. He must be dreaming. He wiped the sweet from his brow and ran a hand through his hair.

"I… I noticed, but I thought you were just trying to get information out of me."

"I was at first. But… I've come to see how much I actually enjoy spending time with you. And prior to this, I've never really enjoyed…anyone's company. Ever."

"I… I don't know what to say…"

"Raito kun I know you dreamt about me last night." L froze. Was he a window? How was it that L could so easily see through him?

"I…yes. I had a dream with you in it. But how did you know?"

"You began crying and you called out my name." Light began blushing brightly. L should turn on the air.

"Well you see-"

"I really like ratio kun" L cut him off and closed the distance between them. He looked like a cat ready to pounce. His sleek muscles bunched beneath his skin, coiled, ready to spring.

"No you don't"

"I know what I feel Raito kun."

"L if your hypothesis is true…"

"I know. But I already know what Kira is like. If you are Kira-" you are Kira "-then I know the part of you that is missing."

"Your just confusing affection with interest."

"Raito seems to have forgotten, that I have been watching Raito and researching him for months now. I know Raito. I know that when you were 8 you broke your right arm climbing a tree. I know this caused you to realize that you are ambidextrous. I know that when you were 7 your teacher wanted you to skip several grades but your parents didn't want to take you away from your friends, but I know you didn't really have any friends. I know when you where twelve you almost got kidnapped at the train station. I know that you are still a virgin." L watched Light's reaction. He wasn't sure if Light was a virgin or not but it seemed he hypothesized correctly.

"I know you like consommé potato chips and you like peach cobbler. But only sometimes. I know you hated your 12th grade teacher. And the scar on your leg was when you wrecked your bike when you were twelve. I know you are ticklish on the back of your knees and your feet. And that you can curl your tongue in a W shape and you hate sherbet…"

"Stop it!"

"I know that you hold off on masturbating when you have a big test coming. But when you don't have any test you don't look at any reading material. Why is that I have wondered. My thesis was that Raito is highly intelligent and he has a very creative mind, he doesn't need any. He certainly buys them but he doesn't necessarily look at them when he pleasures himself-"

"STOP! I get it. You have completely invaded my privacy for the past several months. You know me, I get it." Light looked more tired than scared.

"I like Raito Kun." L said, moving closer to the teen. Light spun around when he could feel L's breath on the back of his neck. With the breath he felt a pull in his abdomen. Oh no not now! Light stood to get away from L and inform him of the fact that he would be taking a shower. A cold shower. "And now I know that Raito kun likes me too." L pulled Light back down onto the bed so that he was facing L.

Light opened his mouth to answer but before he had the chance L Kissed him again. And this kiss was completely different from the last one. Filled with passion and animalistic need. L's tongue tickling the roof of Light's mouth with ferocity.

Light confirmed to himself that, yes he did like L. He liked him a lot. And this was good. This was very good. He didn't even notice as L pushed him down on the bed and loomed over him one hand behind his neck and the other on his thigh. Eagerly kneading his hip.

Light sucked in a breath but L didn't let him fully replenish his lungs. L maneuvered the rest of Light's body onto the bed by grasping behind L's legs and pulling them up. So that the teen was curled against him. He finally released his lips and staring down at the teen, he could have devoured him. Those perfect swollen lips looked especially inviting.

He wanted to see that face again. The one that made his gut twist and filled him with such fire.

"Do you like me too Light?" L asked placing a hand over the thin fabric of Light's pajamas. Caressing the already painfully erect muscle he found down there.

Red lights flashed behind Light's eyes. This was dangerous. This would probably lead to his ruin. But he was filled with an inexplicable yearning. Something clicked in Light's mind.

"That wasn't an aspirin was it?" L smiled impishly.

"It was a simple over the counter aphrodisiac. Something I never placed much faith in actually working.

"Well I think it does."

"And I'm thankful." L laughed.


	5. Pine

Dirtier version can be found on adult fan fiction dot net. This may be pretty dirty though. You may skip it and still grasp what is going on.

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L's lips claim and taste, Light finds himself wondering if he really wanted this? If he said no, would L stop?

The thought drives fear right into the very core of him. But he cannot deny that he does want this. He needs this. And he feels like a frail thing, or a woman even, when he admits to himself that most importantly he needs those soothing touches on his face, and those calming and subjugating words.

He lies beneath L watching the man above him with wonder. His legs draped over the man's shoulders. L is pounding into him mercilessly.

The thought that L is a genius stabs at Light and Light knows that he has lost something. Something that he will greatly miss once the passion has flared down. Once he remembers that it has gone missing.

But even worse is the knowledge that he will lose something more by his own doing, that sends his mind reeling. He reaches his hand up and picks a single hair that has plastered itself to L's forehead. L notices and his eyes fly open.

He stares at Light as if noticing for the first time that he is here, and it is "Raito kun" that he is doing this to. It is Raito kun that is letting him do these things. And suddenly he is devouring Light with ferocity. L wants Light to remember this moment for the rest of his life. And he squeezes his eyes shut when he thinks about how that might not be very long.

A pierce of pleasure rolls over Light. And he feels as if he is standing on a cliff overlooking the ocean on a hot day. Fear, and a blinding need to feel relief.

"What was that?" Light asks breathlessly. L quirks his eyebrow and aims for that same spot, and soon Light is mewling out. Wet fingertips pull on L's taught back creating heat in their wake. L wonders if he is going to get skin burn. "What-"

"I believe it is called the prostate Raito kun." And When L hits that spot again Light's eyes fly open and their eyes meet. Light nods. He opens his mouth to say something but L effectively shuts him up by pummeling his prostate over and over and it seems that it is too much for the teen.

"L…" Light's voice had a warning tone to it. But L doesn't stop he keeps going. Abusing that spot and now wrapping his hand around Light's rock hard erection.

L is close and he is so very close. A little more. The friction is delicious. And Raito kun is so tight. So very tight that he wonders if with out the aphrodisiac, they would be doing this at all.

Light's arms push and pull on L's shoulders and he finds the pillow slipping between the cracks of the bed and headboard.

"L" it comes out in a strangled sob. L is so very quiet until he erupts. A cross between a sigh and a moan leaves him as he fills Raito kun with his seed still riding out the crashing pleasure as it surges along his nerves.

"I love you Raito" Light registers the words but they seem to have no effect on him.

"No."

"What?"

"Don't… don't stop." But L is spent and he pulls himself from Light. L looks at Light with a curious face.

"What Raito kun?"

"You bastard what have you done to me." And he trembles with need still. He hasn't come. L has done something contemptuous. And Light panics for a moment wondering if he will ever return to his normal state.

"Oh." L says as if he is just noticing now that Light hasn't come. Light makes a scornful face but L wraps his hot and sweaty hand around his length and begins to pump. But the rough touch shows that Light's nerves are raw and hypersensitive.

"L Please!"

"Relax Raito kun." The teen writhes under L's hands, his thrashing wrenches all but the bottom sheet free from where it is secured.

"It's not working!" Light says through panic. He wrings the sheets, twisting them in his hands.

"Tell me what you want?" L's voice is husky and urgent but his face is indifferent. Light thinks that maybe L is doing something despicable to him on purpose. Something planned, Something exact, and with precision. Light becomes horrified at the thought that this is just a part of some great master plan that L has.

And when L gently pushes his fingers into that most intimate of places, he looks for the calculation behind those coal eyes, he thinks he can just make it out. In earnest he begins weeping.

"Light? What's the matter? Are you all right?" L wipes his hands on the sheet and scoops the youth up in his arms to smoothes away the tears as they continue to spill over from Light's now red honey coloured eyes.

"I just…" He can barely breathe let alone talk. And inside it is thrilling for L to see him in such a state, So weak and submissive. He is reminded of scared and lonely child when he looks into those eyes. He knows he must calm those fears. But not dispel them.

"I'm so sorry Raito kun. I never should have given you that pill. Tell me what's bothering you."

"I feel. As.. If I'm… paying the price… of some past life discretion." L holds the teen to his chest as he is filled with sadness. He feels guilty but that is almost exactly what is happening.

Light is Kira. Some part of him, not now present is capable of mass murder. But he is sure that either he himself has chosen to forget or someone else has forced him to.

"I'm sorry Raito kun, if I made you feel that way. It was never my intention."

"Are you Lying? I cannot tell. You said you loved me not 8 minutes ago. Do you L? Do you love me?" Light's voice has returned to its steady and acrimonious state. Light rose to his feet and threw a sheet around himself to cover his naked and still aroused state.

But the sheet placed the image in L's head of Light as some Greek hero or god, perhaps Adonis, or more appropriate for this scenario Ganymede.

Yes, L thought, he is my Ganymede And I am one of the many forms of Zeus to him. How appropriate as he is on the very cusp of Aquarius.

"I will be blatantly honest with Raito kun… I don't know. I have never liked anyone. Let alone loved some one. But from what I have read I…yes I do believe that I love you."

That was not the answer Light had expected.

Then L realizes he isn't An Aquarius. He is a Pisces and something clicks into place in L's mind. It isn't justification for Light's pre-detainment actions. But another clue perhaps to motive.

He is purposefully sacrificing himself for the betterment of the world.

To Light there is no greater deed. In his eyes it would truly make him a hero. And suddenly Light is far beyond his god complex and arrogant behavior in L's eyes. And L wonders if he has just fallen in love with Light Yagami.

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The next morning Light was feverish so L helped him to bathe. His limbs shaky and weak. He pulled khakis and a long sleeved green pullover from out of the closet but L snatched them away just as quick. Light struggled to hold the towel wrapped about his waist. Truth be told he was more than a little sore from last nights travesty, and so very tired.

"What are you doing?"

"I think Raito kun should stay in bed today, you don't look very good, and you have a fever. I don't think your father would forgive me if I let you work today." He turned down the sheets of the newly made bed and Light didn't let his mind linger on who had changed them.

"L, I'm fine I just need to get some coffee." He made a move to snatch back his clothing but L held them out of reach. He retrieved a clean pair of pajama bottoms and a Maximum the Hormone t-shirt from Light's closet and handed them to Light.

"I'll have Watari bring up something for breakfast. But you should sleep."

"I'm not hungry."

"I'll come up to check on you. But if you need anything you can call the main room or Watari." He unlocked his hand from his side of the cuffs and walked over to the bedpost, he secured it on the left hand loop of black wrought iron. Light watched him through half lidded eyes. He could scarce believe that he was actually given more time to sleep but he didn't say anything more. He just watched as L left the room then fell promptly into a deep slumber.

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A cool cloth placed on his forehead woke him some time later. If possible he felt even more tired and he struggled to open his eyes.

"What time…"

"It's 4 o'clock in the after noon. You've slept all day and your' father was worried so we came up to check on you."

"What's wrong with me."

"You have a stubborn fever that doesn't seem to want to go away but it's still low enough to not worry. Watari thinks it's a virus… I don't know why he thinks that but Watari has the most medical experience."

"I want to get up now," Light said rising off the mattress but a hot hand on Light's chest pushed him gently back down.

"It's all right Raito kun, we have a lead now, you need not worry." L said, but Light could hear worry in his voice. Very uncharacteristic. Was this an act, for Light's father? Light didn't fight the hand holding him down. His eyes shut out the light from the newly opened curtains. He felt a cool hand on his fore head. He wearily opened his eyes again to see his father looking down at him.

"Father?"

"You are burning up son, just relax and you'll be better before you know it, ready in time to help us bring down Kira." L winced, but it went unnoticed.

"You found him!" Light sat straight up. "You've found Kira?"

"Raito kun, relax we aren't sure if he is Kira or not. Don't work yourself up you will only get sicker."

"I have to see. I have to help. If you have found Kira then…then…"

"No not yet Raito kun. It may yet turn out to be a red herring. Just sleep now ok?" But Light swung his legs over the edge of the bed and prepared to stand.

"Light I don't think…" Light's father looked worriedly at his son as he rose on shaky legs, He almost fell but L caught him and with Yagami san's help they placed him back on the bed.

"You would only be a burden to us now Light. You need to sleep and get over this virus first. Stay in bed." His father ordered but light's vision swam through the tears that threatened to fall.

"I won't be an invalid whilst a case to prove my innocence is at a vital stage."

"You're not an invalid but you are ill. I agree with L you need to stay in bed for now."

"Yagami san may I have a word with you in the hall way?" The two left the room pausing to close the curtains on their way.

Damn him! Damn L! He knows how much this means to me! He knows what's at stake. But then his head grew giddy with the thought that they had found someone. Some one with enough evidence to indicate that he was Kira! This meant that, Light wasn't Kira…but then his thoughts were turned to his dreams and to that awful laughing that only he could hear.

It may turn out to be a red herring, that's what he was saying. Which meant that L didn't believe that this was Kira. And as if he had slipped on wet cement while walking out into the daylight he fell back into his depression with ease. Tears began to fall again. What is wrong with me? He thought. I've never in my life been this emotional…L. He must have done something to me again, he thought.

Like with the aphrodisiac he must have slipped him something. He must not want Light in the control room for some reason. But why? And his breathing hitched as he realized that his incarceration had never really ended.

A great feeling of presentiment filled him like when he had his dream and watched apocalypse from a distance. Everything was crashing around him. Something very important was taking place just out of reach. But for the life of him he did know what

Gratuitous sex scene.


	6. Balsam

L crept down the hall towards Light's and his room. His bare feet padding soundlessly, across the floor. He knocked only twice very gently on the door. He knew Light wasn't asleep and that all day he had been tossing and turning and growling like some caged beast.

A bit of the hot soup spilled over onto his fingers and he yelped. He had forgotten he was carrying some soup for his little nymph.

When L opened the door, he was met with a most beautiful sight. There lay Light, submerged in the blankets like he was about to drown in the creams, gold's and whites of the plush pillows and comforter. His head nestled in the pillows just able to peek out from their confines.

His eyes half lidded and his breathing shallower, but still those fiery tired eyes turned to him and a fear and defiance rose in a swell within Light.

"Welcome home honey, would you like some supper? Or maybe a bath, or perhaps something else…" His words were laced with poison.

"Don't be like that Raito kun. I brought you some minestrone. Look." The genius looked quite pleased with himself as he peels back the poorly placed saran wrap and retrieves the soupspoon from his pocket.

He sits on the bed but Light slowly moves away. L sets the bowl down and motions to feel Light's forehead. But Light turns away. He is desperately hanging by a thread that is his dignity. And he will be as contemptuous as possible to prevent L from severing that final thread.

L sighs patiently and forces the teen down with a grunt as he feels for his temperature.

"Your fever has gone up. You must stop worrying your mind and let it rest Raito kun."

"I'm fine."

"You must eat something now, you haven't eaten anything Watari has brought you all day."

"I'm not hungry right now."

"Do you see how childish you are being?"

"No I don't. I am simply NOT hungry, and very simply I FEEL FINE." L lets out another sigh and rises to his feet to get the thermometer. He has to wrestle with Light to get his mouth to open and when nothing works L is forced (he tells himself) to secure Light's wrists at each headboard with the cuffs.

"So soon? Where is the pillow talk?" Light asks with venom. And L could reach out and slap him, he should really but he can't. L finally places the thermometer in Light's mouth and obediently waits for it to beep.

When he sees that Light's temperature has risen substantially. It is currently at 102. And when he informs Light of this development the teen merely shrugs tiredly.

"You must eat." And quickly there is a spoonful of noodles and broth at his lips. But Light stubbornly refused to open his mouth and turned his head away knocking the spoonful of hot soup onto his hair and shoulder. He let out a little yelp and L clicked his tongue. He got a washcloth from the bathroom and wiped up the mess.

"You love this don't you?"

"What do you mean?"

"You love having your murder suspects chained to beds L?"

"No, just you Raito kun." L smiles but Light's face remains stony.

"Release me, I promise to behave."

"Do you?" But L unlocks one of Light's wrists and then locks it back onto his own wrist.

"Bathroom." And L helps the teen into the bathroom before placing the chain in the notch and closing the door. When Light is finished L makes a point to help Light to the bed but Light pushes him away.

"I can fucking walk."

"Something is bothering Raito kun."

"No shit Sherlock! You figure that one out all by yourself?" Light sits on the bed and grabs the bowl and continues to eat half of it until his face turns sour.

"What did you do to me?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, that you are the reason I am sick I can see it behind those damnable eyes. Tell me what you did, and why you did it. You don't want me to know what is going on for some reason, I want to know why."

"Is that what kept you up all day today? Wondering about that?"

"You know damn well-"

"I will tell you. We have found some one who is performing Kira's murders, but I am 84 percent sure that he is a third Kira."

And instantly all the venom leaves Light's voice.

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because I am." L shrugs. Light could almost cry out at the memory of his dream.

"I know you are pumping me full of drugs, why."

"Raito kun is paranoid."

"Am I L?" And Light searches L's face for an answer.

"Yes, the Aphrodisiac from last night was a mistake. How was I to know that you are highly sensitive to such things? I myself never really believed that they worked, but apparently on you, they do."

Light grinds his teeth together at the memory.

"You are giving me more than the aphrodisiac. Admit it." Light's tone is steady and cold.

"No Raito kun I am not." L Lies so easily and he wonders if Raito's acting has rubbed of on him. Light lies back on the mattress and gazes out the window. His eyes tell that he is a million miles away. L takes the bowl and reaches on his tiptoes due to the cuffs, to put it on the table near the door.

L crawls onto the bed but as he approaches Light, the boy jumps up. Standing defiantly at the side of the bed.

"I won't bow down to you L!" suddenly, there's hottest fire in his words, and his eyes are the molten metal that drives it.

"I don't ask you to."

"Do you think your drugs have made me blind? I see what you are trying to do. And I wont be tamed to be your plaything so that you can-" but Light abruptly stops and turns away. Biting his tongue.

"Ahh I see now." L draws his legs up under him and Light thinks he is chained to a deadly cat that is very ready to pounce. But L puts his thumb to his lips, gnawing on the tip. "Raito kun thinks that I will throw him away when I am finished? Is that it?" L rises and walks over to Light to wrap his long languid arms around the frozen teen still turned partly away from him.

But the sudden tensing of muscles tells L that he has hit the nail on the head.

"L, tell me honestly if you think I'm Kira. Tell me the odds, tell me please."

"…For me it is 100 percent that you are Kira" Light's eyes widen staring off into the corner of the room. His legs give out under him, L holds the now rag doll of a teen up. He picks Light up chewing on his lip. "But Light kun, I'm positive that you as Kira wanted me to know that." Light's nod is vacant. Perfunctory. L places Light onto the bed.

"I am me."

"Yes Raito kun, you are."

"I am Kira." L's breath stops, but he shakes his head. It's not a confession.

"Yes, I believe so."

"Then I must be." There is a long pause. "I have killed thousands of people… I am a murderer. I wanted you dead." The last statement was punctuated by a vapid stare at L.

A light whimper deep in Light's chest erupts into a full blown anguished keen. L scoops Light up into his arms but Light violently pushes him away. His wailing stops, L can see madness in Light's eyes.

Light raises again, L quick to follow. He runs into the bathroom and slams the door, but the chain has not been placed in the notch and it bounces back open. Light collapses onto the tile and curls into himself. His hands all but ripping his hair from his head.

His sobbing has turned to coughing and he crawls to the toilet. L watches in misery as Light heaves up the little bit of minestrone he had eaten.

L's brow set, he walks over to the claw foot bathtub and begins to run the bath. Plugging the drain. And feeling carefully for the right temperature. Light likes his showers very hot, so he ran it a few degrees warmer than he usually did for himself.

He carefully approaches Light like one would a wounded animal.

And like a little bird with a broken wing Light sees L approaching, his heart beating rapidly against his chest, his eyes widen in fear as he scoots away from the slowly approaching L with his arms open, palms up.

L reaches Light and slowly pulls the teen up balancing him against himself as he lowers the lid and flushes, he then sits and pulls the weeping teen into his lap.

Light does not struggle as L undresses him. He stares blankly ahead, the tears having stopped, as L undresses himself.

He pulls Light towards the tub and Light stumbles after him, reminding L of a gangly colt. He steps into the water and so does Light. He slowly lowers and Lights own jutty movements follow till his back is nestled into L's chest, and his head looks up as it rests against L's shoulder. Resting there like he is L's prized doll.

Light sinks more into the water as it begins to sooth. L raises is hand and begins to pet Light.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Raito kun. I shouldn't have told you." Light shivers against him.

But Light doesn't say anything. And he says nothing later when L is driving into him on the bed, aiming for Light's most sensitive spot. Whispering all of the sweet nothings that Light likes to hear. He holds Light's leg aloft and massages the calf muscle, on the verge of biting the teen, to the point of drawing blood even to get more of a reaction out of him.

Light is barely there making small noises that don't sound of pleasure, but only acknowledgement to L. When he finishes, it's as if he has made love, no not love, but fornicated with a doll or something plastic. There was no eye contact, only short nods of affirmation.

L pulls the blankets up over them, and Light doesn't even notice when L rolls away from him and begins to cry into his pillow.


	7. Cardboard

AN: Ok guys, those of you who HAVE reviewed. Thank you thank you thank you thank you. To those of you who have not reviewed (99.8 percent, Ha) :kicks in frustration:

I get very few reviews. :tear: I hate being as dependant on reviews as I am, but I am totally unmotivated by the lack of them. If reviews were banned altogether, maybe I wouldn't be as melancholy as I am, nonetheless… I don't like threatening this story for reviews but I feel as if I am getting there.

I am a review Ninja! If you wont leave your reviews I will sneak into your brain and steal them and you will never have known I was there.

Oh and since I'm talking here anyway, I don't own Death Note.

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When L woke the next day, last night's farce coming to his mind, he wanted to cry again, but he mixed the findings into the black cauldron that was his brain and concluded that last night was only harmful for his heart. And to L that was inconsequential.

He had spent another night with Light Yagami and he was left unharmed and alive. Of course he didn't think that anything else would have happen whilst Light still didn't have his memory, but L did not know what to make of Kira's powers, and he wondered if soon the shinigami would return to Light with his memories.

L rolled over seeking warmth as he had become quite cold during the night and his eyes came to rest meeting Light's own wide eyed gaze.

He was a devil in the guise of an angel and for a moment he truly believed that due to Light's ethereal beauty. Even lying there with his head turned like that, his hair askew. He had a glow about him and even as beads of sweat gathered on the teen's forehead and he knew that Light must be quite ill by now. He was beautiful.

Light smiled disarmingly, and suddenly L slammed his shields up. His eyes widen to their usual stare and he slowly rose from his pillow. He slowly reached his hand out to smooth some of the hair away from Light's forehead and simultaneously feel for a temperature.

Light was burning up.

"How do you feel Raito kun?"

"Much better." L's brow creased. By his calculations, the boy should be feeling rather ill now. Perhaps it was on a different front that he was better. "L, you look so peaceful when you sleep. It makes me envious." L took the comment in stride.

"You had another night mare?" Light's eyes darken.

"No." another lie?

"What was it ab-"

"I don't remember." Light rose onto his knees and crawled towards L. Hunger in his eyes. He pulled back the blankets gingerly from L's still naked form underneath. When his eyes rested on L's naked sex they flashed with lust and he reached out his hand delicately and placed a smooth stroke over it like petting some feral cat. A deep moan from L, gave Light more courage to continue awakening the sleeping member.

He pumped it a few times until it stood firm, and then he lowered his mouth cautiously to flick his tongue over the L's heat. While he did this, his eyes were firmly on L as if watching for disapproval. L's leg spasm almost scaring Light back but he continued licking it like it were something to be savored.

L couldn't believe what Light was doing, and he looked so eager to please. What seed had been planted that with sleep Light had awakened to be so docile? So utterly different?

But as he looked closer at the glazed eyes rimmed in deepest shade of skin, it became apparent that no sleep had nurtured this new Light.

L seized Light's wrists and rolled so that Light was beneath him.

"Did you sleep at all?"

"No." Light looked up playfully from his position beneath L. He was making no apologies.

"Raito kun you must sleep."

"I'm not tired." And then the teen grinned and grabbed L pressing his fevered lips to the detective's throat hungrily.

"Stay with me today?" L was tempted but he still had much work to do.

"I can not Raito kun." And with that he rose to his feet towards his closet where he withdrew the clothes that he would be wearing today. Light watched on in horror. The sheets pooled around his waist as he propped himself up on one arm.

"You can't just leave me here with nothing to do." His voice was firm and dark, except for a glimmer of fear that streaked it.

"You need sleep. Your fever has risen."

"No no no. I will not, I cannot stay here with nothing to do. I've left my cell for a new one." Lights hands gripped his hair. He began shaking his head violently.

He jumped up naked and fell to his knees in front of L clutching at L's pants, tears began to stream down his stricken face.

"Please L." And for the first time he saw what horrible shape Light's wrists were in. Bruised to the bone. Skin red and raw to the point of bleeding. L winced.

"You don't know what boredom does to me. Please L."

"I'm sorry Raito kun, I'll have Watari send in some reading material is there anything you would like in particular?" He lifted Light to his feet and sat him on the bed. He rummaged through Light's drawers and closet retrieving some clothing. L held out the clothes to Light.

Light looked betrayed. He shoved the clothes away falling back onto the bed and curled into himself. L sighed and crossed the room. He made a quick phone call to Watari. Keeping silent enough so that Light couldn't hear.

He crept back to the trembling teen. Sitting down lightly and rubbing Light's back. But just as quick Light, was holding L's wrist and twisting it. An evil glint in his eyes.

"You are on the verge of destroying me L, The world's greatest detective. I hope that when finally your hands have bloodied and I am gone that you will be able to cope with Justice's heavy whip. But I wonder if all that you do to me is for the fall of Kira, or perhaps his preservation. I think L that you must hate me or love me, undeniably.

"If I am Kira, you are seeing to it that I will have no qualms with destroying you. Are you martyring yourself for me L? Perhaps you are but an angel sent from heaven to elevate the pain of killing you. Either that or some demon." Light falls back on the bed releasing L's wrist, laughing.

There is such a tone in Light's voice that it makes the hairs on the back of L's neck rise. Light rises again into a sitting position. All laughter and jest having gone from his face in mere seconds.

"If I am not indeed Kira, then I follow him whole heartedly." His eyes honey granite. As if they were just dipped and pulled from pools of sugar syrup for their gleam. Suddenly Light Points his finger at the ceiling in blatant mockery of L.

"I know, you were sent to show me that evil is just as sure in the realms of all mankind. Even in those places it is supposed to be most opposed. Kira is naïve; there is no hope for mankind. He should instead be saving the dolphins or perhaps the Sumatra Tigers." Light begins to giggle, as a child would, while he rolls naked on the bed.

L stands

"How convenient, that now I am evil, but I assure Raito kun that my intentions are not to make this at all easy for Kira. Now I suggest you dress, Watari will be up here in approximately 48 seconds."

"No! Don't go, I'm so alone in here please! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Light is again clutching at L, but L twists away just as there is a soft rap on the door.

"Come in."

Watari enters unperturbed by Light's nudity, but he wouldn't be as L told him virtually everything. L is pinching the bridge of his nose. Light is quietly weeping on the floor behind him.

"Thank you Watari." Watari nods with the faintest of smiles and approaches the crying Light. L unlocks his cuff and walks to the bathroom. He retrieves a first aid kit and makes his way back over to Light. Watari is helping the listless teen into the pants that L had earlier proffered.

L proceeded to unlock Light's wrist from the cuff. But Light does not lift his head from the floor or acknowledge them at all. L busies himself with bandaging Light's wrists until it looks almost like Light is recovering from having his wrists slashed. A small manacle is fastened around the teen's ankle instead and Watari lifts Light hanging limply in his arms over to the bed.

A few low-keyed directions are given to Watari before he takes his leave. L pulls the blankets up and around Light making it around Light's still form. Till nothing looks out of place. Even the red-rimmed eyes seem like they are part of the landscape as L finally placing a delicate kiss on Light's forehead, leaves the room.

8::8::8::8::8::8::8::8::8

On that day Yagami san did not check up on Light. But Light couldn't bring himself to care.

When Light discovered that he was chained to the bed by his ankle, he laughed so hard that he nearly fell from the mattress. So here he was L's little sex slave. Chained by a shining silver anklet to his masters bed. He laughed himself to tears and then cried himself to sleep.

8::8::8::8::8::8::8::8::8

When he awoke again the red light of sunset was streaming in through the curtains having been opened some to let in the evening sun now faced away from the bedroom window. He saw a stack of books and magazines on the nightstand and reaching out gingerly He saw that it was the bible and A few issues of national Geographic featuring the world's most endangered species.

He looked quizzically up into the surveillance camera as if asking it a question, but simply rolled over and fell back asleep.

L watched wearily the screen. He had the others sent out on various leads so it would be easier to monitor Light. What did one do when they were in love with some one who would eventually want them dead?

He leant forward as he saw Light awaken. The teen's eyes looked empty as L watched he felt as though he were witnessing video footage of a ghost. Light stood and walked towards the desk. The chain on his ankle grew taught and the teen, showing no emotion looked at his hands bewildered as he sank to his knees.

L's mind raged and raged. Some thing terrible was a bout to happen. L jumped to his feet and watched the video feed a moment more before He took of sprinting, he chose the stairs as the elevator would take to long. His side ached from not being used to physical exertion. His bare feet pounded on the Berber carpet as his mind raced over all the possibilities. It could be that he was just being paranoid.

But his mind flashed a warning again and he increased his pace.

Finally at the door he could hear an awful wail on the other side, near out of breath he quick punched the key and flung the door open. Light was knelt on the floor where L had last seen him on the video and he was clawing at his face.

He approached Raito quickly and pulled his wrists away from his face. Watari entered the room then.

"What is it L?"

"He has tried to remove his eyes I believe." L shouted above Light's wails. He flung the teen back onto the floor and held his wrists above his head. "We will need a doctor Watari." Watari bowed and quickly left the room.

"I am Justice. Justice is blind." Light kept repeating in an awful croak. L's gut twisted with the words. "I am justice. Justice is blind." Light had scratched his face up pretty bad and one eye was closed while blood was seeping out of it. Light was too terrified to open that eye and look at the damage that could be done.

"Raito kun, what does that mean?" But Light didn't answer. He just lay there beneath L, he curled into himself as much as L's opposing figure would allow. As much as he could. Turning his head to the side.

"Don't look at me, I'm a… a monster." And suddenly Light broke into tears falling with shimmer and mingling with blood down into his hairline. A great heave of energy poured into Light and He shook from L's grasp, backing away from the detective. He stood and grabbed a chair and flung it at the windows.

But the window did not break nor even budge and If Light had not been blinded by blood and tears he would have seen that There was nary a crack in the glass.

L was once again on Light but Light would not have it. He struggled and kicked and clawed. In the end L had won out and he had pinned Light to the bed. Now sitting on Light's abdomen while holding his arms prostrated above him. He took off his belt and managed to tie Light's hands together. He leapt from the bed quickly to retrieve one of the sedatives that he had hidden in the room. He quickly injected its contents into Light's deltoid.

"I… am… justice…. Justice… is… blind" the words were spaced far apart as Light's unhurt eye began to flutter closed


	8. Paper

AN: A dirtier version of this can be found on adult fan fiction dot net. I implore you, if you can read that one instead.

Also I want to thank all of my reviewers. I honestly didn't think I'd get so many with a plea. You like me! You really like me…er my story! So this chappy is dedicated to all of you, especially those of you who have been with it from the beginning.

And I promise to keep the chappys coming much quicker than I have been because you are all so nice to me!

8::8::8::8::8::8::8::8::8::8::8::8::8::8::8::8::8::8::8::8::8::8::8::8::8::8::8::8

When the others had returned with their findings, they were startled to see L somberly sitting. his legs crouched beneath him hands loosely clasped before his face as he watched the live video feed of the doctor attending to Light.

Soichiro approached the screen and L.

"Who is that, what is wrong. What happened L?" But there was no menace in the elder man's voice.

"Yagami san, would you perhaps take some tea with me, in private?" L asked his eyes having never left the screen.

"Ah… sure"

"Watari could you please keep an eye on Raito kun and the good doctor. Yagami san and I will be taking tea in the green room"

"Yes L. As Soichiro followed the detective from the room, L made no eye contact with the others.

They walked into a comfy looking sage colored room and L closed the door behind them, he motioned for Soichiro to take a seat. As L poured some southern style sweet tea for them.

"How sick is he L?" L's formerly downcast eyes rose to meet the chiefs.

"He is running a high fever, and he can't seem to keep any food down at the moment. The doctor has assured me that it is just the common flu and he will be over it in a few days.

Soichiro let out a long-winded sigh of relief but L broke in again.

"Yagami san? How devoted are you to bringing Kira to justice."

"L you should know, I've all but given my life to this project."

"Yes, but would you give your son's?" Yagami san froze, not this again.

"L, I don't know why you for a minute can think to incriminate Light for killing thousands of people. I even pointed a gun at him point blank, he did nothing. My son is not Kira!"

"Listen very carefully to me Yagami san. We know that Kira's deaths are done with some mysterious power, correct?"

"Yes"

"So then it would be safe to presume that we are at a loss for what kind of powers Kira possesses. Raito Yagami was detained for 50 days. The first few weeks of the detainment, yielded no death from Kira. This in itself would have been proof enough for a court system. But after that, the killings started anew. Why? He refrained from killing you in that car during the mock execution. But was it because he is innocent or because, as I believe, he has lost his memories and the powers of Kira?"

"This is stretching the bounds of sanity L."

"And Kira undeniably has stretched the bounds of physics with his method of killing. There are several pieces to the puzzle missing Yagami san, and because I can not be sure if this is the original Kira's doing or some other force at play, that I ask for your cooperation. Your complete trust."

"Why L, why should I place my complete trust in you, you believe my son is a mass murderer. Something that I cannot believe myself. And you ask me to trust you? You are so fixated on my son being Kira that I can't L, now can I? Light needs someone to protect his rights."

"Yagami san. I meant it that your son was and is my very first friend. I need you to trust me that I won't do anything other than what I must to find out what is going on. I must find the source of Kira's powers so that it cannot be used ever again. But there is one way I can prove to you that I am indeed trustworthy when it comes to your son's life."

Soichiro ran a hand through his peppered hair.

"And what would that be?"

"I promise that even after I prove that your son is Kira, I will not turn him in to the authorities."

8::8::8::8::8::8::8::8::8::8::8::8::8::8::8::8::8::8::8::8::8::8::8::8::8::8::8::8::8

Light lay on the bed with a cool damp washcloth over his forehead. H was shivering uncontrollably lost in the throws of a nightmare he could not wake from due to the sedative. L And Yagami san walked into the room. Soichiro looked exhausted and his eyes were red.

The tall dark haired doctor stood and straightened his jacket.

"Ryuzaki san? And…"

"Soichiro Yagami, the boys father." The rather formal man smiled and bowed.

"Ah yes, well, Light suffers from a torn cornea, thankfully he missed his retina, you will need to administer antibiotic eye drops twice a day for three weeks. It was a pretty bad tare. He will need to keep the eye patch I gave him on for at least that amount of time. I also gave him some eye drops for the pain but they will ware off soon. Corneal tares are extremely painful so he might find the need to rub his eyes, but you must stop him from doing that. It could lead to permanent damage I left enough of the numbing drops for a week, after that I would like to see him again."

"Of course."

"I checked his medical history so he shouldn't have any complications with any other drugs that have been administered. Also your…butler here has mentioned that Light is suffering from slight hysteria due to stress? If you would like I can recommend a few doctors for him to talk to."

"That would be very helpful doctor if you could just leave their contact information with Watari, I would be very grateful." L replied, not intending to call any of the numbers.

"If you have any questions or if his eye becomes overly irritated, don't hesitate to call from when you told me that the sedative was administered he should be waking shortly. The restraints I brang should help if he become hysterical again…" The doctor looked nervous for a moment.

"Thank you very much Dr. Tang." The doctor and Watari departed.

"You mean to tell me that he did this to himself?" Yagami san flinched as he saw the scratches adorning his son's face.

"Yes. I have the video feed from when the incident occurred. I think that it is imperative that you witness it."

L clicked a few keys on his already open laptop and a looped video depicting Light rising from the bed and beginning to claw at his eyes ending in the repeated statements of 'I am justice. Justice is blind' whilst he wrestled with L and threw a chair at the window. Yagami san was left with a bitter taste in his mouth from the recording. He looked at his son who was beginning to stir.

L and Lights father immediately went to restrain the sleepy youth.

"Dad? What are you doing?" L shot a warning glance at Yagami san.

"You hurt your eye pretty badly son. You can't touch your face for a while."

"Oh ok." Light replied his tone near child like in its innocence. Yagami san turned away from them.

"L, I agree to your terms. Please take good care of my son" A deep fear filled the groggy teen. Soichiro looked down at his son and ran a hand through the orange honey locks. He sat on the edge of the bed and pulled his son up into a hug. Cradling his head, careful for his eye.

"I love you Light. No matter what. I don't believe that any of this is your fault. I can't believe that." Light squirmed in his father's arms. He looked at a sad looking L over his father's shoulder.

"What? What is going on L?"

"You should get some rest Raito kun." L said. Light's father laid him back onto the mattress and smoothed his hair from his face, grimacing at the eye patch and scratches.

"Yes Light, get some rest." Light reluctantly closed his eyes and lay more comfortably on the pillow. He was very tired after all. He could hear L and his father exchange words across the room. He couldn't make any of it out. He heard the door open and shut, and then he heard L make a call to Watari. He felt the dip in the bed and opened his eye to see L with his back to Light, holding his head in his hands.

"L? What's the matter? Come to bed." Light rose into a sitting position and reached out his arms for the detective.

L turned and saw this and fell into Light's embrace. Feeling guilty for again taking advantage of Light and his current state.

"Shhh shhhh, tell me about it." Light soothed, his hands smoothing out the unruly hair as he held the detective's head to his chest.

L knew that this was nothing more than a manifestation of Light's recent bout of insanity. But the soothing and caring embraces sparked a seed of hope within his heart.

Surely Light could not easily maintain a façade for caring while in his current mental state? So then Light must at least have some part of him that is good and nurturing.

Before L had thought it an act. But now…

"I believe I have found the third Kira, but the investigation team demands proof before they will allow me to make a move. I have people collecting evidence. But right now all progress has stalled. And… And I'm worried about you." L looked up at Light who looked startled at L's last statement.

"Why would you be worried about me? As long as you're with me I will be fine…. I love you L." The detective stopped breathing a moment. Light noticed the detective's hesitation. "I really truly do."

"Light, I… I love you too." The words made the youth grin and hold L tighter to him.

"I know." Light said as he lay more comfortably, entwining his legs with his lover's. L quickly wiped away the tear that fell from his eye.

L craned his neck and sweetly placed a chaste kiss on Light's chin. Then a more passionate one on his lover's lips.

Light's lips parted easily. As he ran his hand up and down L's back with soothing touches becoming electric under the pads of his fingertips. L pulled himself up and removed his shirt as well and then fell back into the embrace, relishing the feel of their warm skin and warm limbs entwined.

L kneaded the flesh beneath his fingers, and marveled. He knew an especially erogenous zone for Light was his obliques and the inner thigh's around the gracilis, and as he licked the taut skin that covered these areas, Light let out a low and throaty moan.

Light sighed and massaged L's neck and behind his ears. Each touching and exploring only newly, but expertly mapped physiques.

L's hand found Light's from where it lay petting his nape and he entwined the finger's before bring it to his mouth and kissing then licking. He took Light's hand in both of his and turned it to kiss his palm, he removed the bandages to see the wrists well on their way to healing.

He kissed the bruises gently and licked along his pulse looking up at light once again mournfully.

Light sucked in a breath and grabbing the detectives shoulder's implored him to move up for a passionate kiss. They fondled and kissed for a long while. Cherishing every inch of each other's body, suddenly Light's eyes flashed with something, and his kissing became forceful and dominating. His mouth Ravished L's own with need and hunger. Rolling them over so that Light was above L. His arms anchoring L to the mattress.

He tore away from L. Glazed eyes staring down at the detective. Until his mouth connected once again to L's Scapulae, sucking and nipping, then leaving a wet trail down to his nipples he fondled and pinched them to pertness.

Satisfied this task was done he trailed once again down to the dark treasure trail placing soft kisses everywhere his mouth hovered. He licked tentatively the base of L's organ and added pressure.

Their passion was greater than it had been on any other night. And L drank it up with a sense of foreboding. As he watched Light stare off into the corner while he smoothed his flank and drove into him.

Both soon sated and quivering from the overload, they held each other tightly.

The lay entwined a while, breathing heavily. L carding his fingers through Lights soft hair. But something was wrong with Light. He kept chewing on his lip and clenching his fists.

"What's wrong Light?"

"Nothing, I guess I'm just tired."

"I noticed you grew rather controlling in the middle of our love making, can I ask the reasoning behind it."

Light grimaced.

"No… I was just well... you know."

L pushed himself up and made his way to the side of the bed. He lifted his discarded shirt and searched through the collar.

"Perhaps you were looking for this?" Light held the small silver key aloft. Light's eyes fixed on the prize that he had indeed, been searching for. "I was under the distinct impression that you were looking for something." L shrugged. But Light turned away indifferently staring at that same corner he had earlier been fixated on.

"L, I'm not Kira."

"I'm not so sure."

"You should have let me blind myself."

"Why do you say that?" But Light let out a dry and hollow laugh.

"Oh no reason, just dreams and whimsy." He rolled onto his back, his head still turned away, not taking his eyes from the figment that stood in the corner of the room. Its incessant grin baring all the jagged teeth of Light's subconscious.


	9. Wet paper towel

Missa walked in to the investigation room with a smug look on her face. She had done it. She could now prove to Light that she was competent. A few coy glances and choice words had proved that she could be on par with the boys. But they surely wouldn't see it as the cautious yet aggressive move that it was.

Especially Light. He wouldn't understand until he had his memories back. Be patient Missa. He will appreciate it when he knows what it is that you have done. But he can't know just yet. Soon though.

Rem wants Missa to explain it to Light and that's what Missa will do. She will get Light alone where Ryuzaki can't hear and tell him. Tell him all about how she seduced the current Kira, Higuchi into a full confession. Yeck. Missa Missa really dislikes that lecherous old man.

Light would find away to kill Higuchi and get the notebook back. He was so smart.

But when she reveals what she's done she must be careful. Or Ryuzaki will be even more suspicious of Missa. 'But it doesn't really matter because Light and I will soon have the book. And Light will destroy L. That is a given. But still, she had grown to like Ryuzaki…'she pushed the thoughts from her head. It must be done for Light and Missa's world order.

She couldn't help but hold a sense of pride with her self. She had succeeded where Ryuzaki could not. She had irrefutable proof that Higuchi is the current Kira.

"Ryuzaki, Higuchi is Kira!" She sauntered in to the investigation room. The cosplay nurse outfit giving her an undeniable sense of confidence. She felt as though she could conquer the world and that is what she was about to do.

Light and Missa. Forever.

Missa asked to see Light but she was denied on all fronts. They told her that Light was ill at the moment and didn't want Missa to see him in his state. By the third day of asking to see Light she was so frustrated that she canceled three photo shoots. Something she had never done before.

Ryuzaki was worried that Higuchi would take note of Missa's absence. But Missa refused to leave the building while Light was so sick. Instead she sent him love notes and made soup for Watari to bring him.

Light spent his days falling deeper into depression mingled with delirium.

He **was** sick; any one in the investigation team could see that. He had been bedridden since the doctor came, but they did not know what had happened to Light's eye. Only L, the chief and Watari knew the answer to that, and they weren't talking.

L didn't go to Light since he had irrefutable proof that Higuchi was Kira. He watched Light's deteriorating mind over a screen. Three times he had to be restrained by Watari because Light had tried to hurt himself. The rest of the investigation team had long since been forbade to look in on Light.

But no one took much notice. They were busy planning an operation of the most importance. They were about to catch Kira. The tension in the investigation room was palpable.

Soon the time came when they would bring Higuchi down; L trudged up the stairs towards Light's and his room. He crossed the hall and paused momentarily to gaze at the door. He opened it.

When Light saw L, he was simultaneously filled with relief and then anger. But none of these emotions were shown as Light lay on the bed, on his side. Books lay strewn across the floor. He curled more into himself as L approached. He felt a hand rest on his shoulder lightly.

His rage won the fight with his joy for dominance. Light gripped the hand that was on his shoulder tightly. Feeling the fingers twist uncomfortably in his hand.

"What do you want?"

"To talk."

"So talk."

"I'm sorry Raito kun, I have been very busy lately. We are attempting to capture Kira tonight."

"Ah, but you've already captured him." There was a long moment of silence between them. Until L took Light in his arms and just held him for a moment.

"I want to be some one else." Light confessed as he burrowed deeper into L.

"I like Raito kun the way he is, well when he is himself."

"Really L? You like being lied to and manipulated? Because if I am Kira that's what I have been doing."

"Perhaps, but I enjoy deciphering those lies for myself. Incase you haven't notice Raito kun, I'm pretty smart. I had figured you would be liar from the very beginning. When you were nothing more than a picture and paper to me."

"Maybe I'm not the one who needs restraints." Light mocked but L shivered.

"I've had my share of restraints Raito kun." Light held his breath, had L just revealed something about himself to Light?

"You are playing with fire L."

"It seems to be a hobby of mine… Light I have a feeling a lot will change after tonight. After we get Higuchi. I want you to know that I have enjoyed our friendship. I'm sorry that I took advantage of you while you were under my care…" There was a long pause.

It seemed that Light would not be accepting L's apology any time soon.

"L, thank you."

"For what Raito kun?"

"I have the distinct feeling that all of this," He made a sweeping hand gesture, "no matter how horrible it's been, has been for my benefit. But… I'm sorry." L's brow furrowed.

"I am getting the impression that Raito kun will attempt something soon." Light merely shrugged.

They held each other both comfortable not wanting it to end. But the time had soon come and L rose.

"Please lay still Raito kun. I need to put the restraints on."

"Why?" Light cried in anguish sitting up on the mattress.

"If tonight when we capture the third Kira, I want to make sure that you are secured incase the power and your memories transfer back to you." Answered L truthfully

Light seemed to wilt on the spot. His eye now filled with anguish. He lay down and stared at the ceiling vacantly. L pulled the restraints that the doctor had brought and started securing Light's hands and feet.

When he finished he cupped Light's face.

"Does your eye hurt?"

"No, it's all right."

"I love you."

"I…I love you to." L tenderly kissed Light on the lips and then again on his forehead. He realized that he wanted to keep Light like this, but he knew he couldn't.

A part of him was thrilled that the chances were high that the old Light would be coming back. He had missed the competition with Kira. It was sad and sick that he wanted to restore Light to his serial killer self. He couldn't explain it to himself.

"L, Please… be careful. And there is something else. If that… that happens and I turn back to Kira. Please just kill me. Please."

"I'm sorry Raito kun, I cannot do that." Tears sprang into Light's eyes.

"You would have me die by lethal injection? Completely stripped of anything that had made me who I am. You would rather me rot in a cell?"

"Raito please calm yourself."

"What does it matter L? I'm restrained I can't hurt you or myself what does it matter anymore? You have taken every ounce of control that I once had. You have whittled me down into an acceptable version of myself…. Do you Love me or Kira?"

"I love you. All of you. No matter how much it vexes me… I love all of you and I'm damned for it."

"So is that what you will say when you go back to what ever rock you crawled out from under? That I seduced you and damned you in the same play? Will you be more broken than you are now? Having lost some one you claim was precious to you? But you knew from the very beginning, didn't you L. You knew you were falling.

"You once asked me if I enjoyed playing the victim. I am now as sure as I have ever been that YOU are the one who enjoys playing the victim. Pity me. That is what you say to me. TO ME! The supposed murderer you have strapped to your bed. The student that you have drugged up so, that he cannot tell dreams from reality. The Teenager you have seduced. If you forget everything that has happened these short months L, remember that! Remember that it was you! **You** were the seducer! **You** were the one who asked for love from a murderer.

8::8::8::8::8::8::8::8::8::8::8::8::8::8::8::8::8::8

When they locked Missa in her room she raged and screamed for a full half hour pounding fiercely on the door.

They were off being boys and capturing the bad guy with the black cowboy hat and she, the poor simple girl, was left here alone to await their return.

But she knew, Light was in no condition to be accompanying Ryuzaki. This may be her only chance for some time alone with her intended. And she had swiped something from Matsuda's pocket before he departed. Her key card to the door.

Ryuzaki had assured that Missa would have a lock on both sides of her door. For at least the appearance of privacy, even though she had to ask nicely for the card when ever she wanted to go out.

She had resented Ryuzaki for thinking her so simple to be easily placated with that. Of course she knew she was under twenty-four hour surveillance, lucky for her she was a bit of an exhibitionist, and a damn good actor. She easily filled the role of simple little model. All looks no brains. And even when she didn't know that she and Light had been Kira, the act was her nature. It was a sure fire way to get what she wanted.

After all no one expected the adorable Missa to have a brain behind that pretty face. She sneered. Whatever.

When no noise could be heard on the other side of the door she retrieved her small pink corduroy purse and rummaged through it looking for all the tools she may need. She retrieved a nail file, her Hello kitty flashlight key chain and her compact. She stuffed her cute black and red checkered wallet in her pocket and Left the room.

She had only been to Light's room twice since detainment. And she wondered if she remembered the way. She wandered through the halls inspecting each door and her memory. Until finally she arrived at a heavy oak door that she immediately recognized as Light's room.

But her squeal had fallen short when she looked at the security device. It was a keypad with numbers. Not a key card system.

"Oh. Ok Missa this is good! You can do this!" She pumped her fist into the air and retrieved her compact from her purse. She roughed up the caked powder until a sufficient amount of powder was loose. She had only seen this on a cartoon once but damnit she would at least try.

She held the compact close to the keypad and blew the powder onto the pad. Miraculously the powder stuck to L's sticky fingerprints. No doubt because he was always eating something sweat that they were so thick.

"All right! Ok think Missa think. How can I tell what order they went in? Well L always touches things with delicate fingers… and the first number should be the darkest because Ryuzaki's finger would start to lose the stickiness as he typed more numbers." She pondered to herself.

"So the first number should be the darkest! And the last number should be a full print, because he would finish the sequence with a sense of finality by pushing the whole finger down on that key. OHHHH MISSA IS SO SMART!!!" She grinned and danced around in her spot.

"But the middle ones I cant be positive about… And what if the number was repeated?" She inspected it thoroughly for a few minutes. After she was sure she had the code she took a deep breath. There were two overlapping sticky prints so that would mean…

"077643" She entered it and the door clicked. She stopped breathing and turned the knob. When it swung open her eyes went wide.

"YES! I ROCK!" She flew into the room stopping in her tracks when she saw Light staring at her from the bed. "Light! What has Ryuzaki done?" She flew towards the bed and hastened to unfasten him from the bed.

"Ohhhh I can't believe that Ryuzaki has done this! This is just too cruel!" She was near tears as she finished unfastening Light and then flung her self into his arms. Light was still too shocked.

"What… have you done Missa?"

"I came here, I escaped because I need to tell you something Light!" She said weeping into his shoulder not caring if her black mascara was running. "We should just escape Light. I can't stand that Ryuzaki has been treating you like this."

"It's to stop me Missa, can't you see I might be Kira." She stopped crying and looked up into Light's terrifying blank stare."

"But Light… You are Kira."


	10. Love

I don't own Death Note

Also I wrote this chapter three times. If you are nice I might just post the other two chapters as alternative endings. This one is by far my fave, but I could be persuaded…

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Light grasped Missa's shoulders tightly.

"What did you say?" There was fire in his eyes turning them a familiar shade of red.

"I said that you ARE Kira, Rem the shinigami told me. And I'm the second Kira. This was all part of your plan to lure L into a false sense of security, so you could get close to him and draw the blame from yourself. You are Kira, and when you get the notebook back you will see." She grinned wickedly at Light. Only shirking slightly at his almost painful grasp.

Light stood. His breathing suddenly quickened.

"Your sure?"

"Yes I'm positive, I saw a goddess of death with my own two eyes. It all makes sense. It all falls right into place." She shrugged from her abandoned position on the bed.

"This was my intention… To get close to L. The enemy."

"Yes." He thought for a moment. Then put his head in his hands.

"Missa you are so perfectly stupid. You made my decision for me." When he looked up at her, there was a large grin plastered over his face. "You perfect little idiot. This actually makes it easier."

"What? Light, I don't understand. He walked over into the corner. And pointed up."

"A little over zealous? The room is bugged." Missa's face fell as she spotted the tiny camera. She turned a staunch white as tears began to fall suddenly from her large beautiful eyes.

"But… but. Light, We can still get away. I've unlocked your door, I can unlock the rest." He rushed over to her and wiped the tears from her face.

"Shush shush. It's ok." He gathered her into his arms. She could hardly believe how stupid she had been, and how Light was treating her.

"Its gonna be ok." He stood, still holding her in his arms. He started to walk towards the bathroom with her.

"Light what are we going to do?"

"Nothing. Absolutely nothing." He laughed then, and it was a real laugh. A relieved laugh. He walked into the bathroom with her in his arms still, and sat her on the toilet. "You'll be ok Missa. You just have to tell Ryuzaki everything all right? He'll fix it." He straitened and smoothed out his crumpled clothing. Instantly his dignity seemed to return to him.

"Light what are you saying. What is going on!" He smiled at her and closed the bathroom door behind him. Firmly locking it in place.

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"Indeed, Shinigami really do exist…" The small console next to L beeped. His attention drew away from the Shinigami and onto the console. He typed in a few keys and read the screen. His eyes' widened even more.

"Something is wrong. We have to get back right now."

Watari took off his sniper goggles and turned to L.

"What is it?"

"The alarm system on Light's room says that it's been unlocked." His monotonous tone sounding over the head sets. "hand me the note book back. And lock him up. We have to hurry back."

"What is going on?" Asked Aizawa, not taking his eyes off the beast that loomed over them.

"I'm not sure but we must get back to HQ as soon as possible. Please secure Mr. Higuchi and head over there." Stated L as he took the notebook and set it on the seat beside him.

As L prepared the still spinning blades for take off, his unblinking eyes traveled back to the beeping console next to him.

The only feasible way that the door to Light's room could be opened was from the outside. The only other person in the building is Missa. But still… Missa?

There was only a 14 percent chance that Missa had figured out how to unlock her own doors. But her's then Light's? There could be some fly in the ointment of course. But what if… What if this was a rouse.

What if Higuchi was bait? What if L had been lured away from HQ so that someone else could get in and get Light? Light had said that he was being framed… But then why would who ever was there, be breaking in now? And how could they be breaking in. The Kira investigation building he had thought was impeneratable, was it a shinigami then?

It made no sense! Even if Missa had figured out somehow, how to unlock the doors. That was still dangerous. She would undoubtedly free Light from his binds. And in his current mindset… Why would she go through all the trouble to talk to Light? Unless she knew something! His mind whirled with the possibilities.

4 minutes and 28 seconds. That was how long it took to get back to HQ. He hoped that it would be in time. As the Helicopter soared through the sky, low enough to rattle a few windows, his heart was pounding in his chest.

"What do you think is going on?" Asked a worried Watari over the headset.

"I don't know yet." His tone was harsh. When his building came into view, he breathed a sigh of relief. He had been notified as soon as Light's door had opened; surely it wasn't enough time to… He squinted his eyes; some one was standing on the roof. He could barely see but for the half moon overhead.

His heart jumped into his throat. It was Light, he could plainly see the white eyepatch that still covered the teen's eye. What was he doing on the roof? And he was alone.

As the helicopter approached L could see that Light was standing on the very ledge twenty-three floors up. Light was turned towards the helicopter smiling up at them as if in greeting the sight sent chills down the detective's spine.

As soon as they landed, L switched off the rotary blades so they would slow to a stop. He grabbed the notebook and jumped out of the Helicopter, Watari close behind.

"Don't come any closer L!" He shouted above the dieing noise. L stopped dead in his tracks.

"What is going on Raito kun?"

"Can't you tell?" asked Light with an air of indiferance.

"What happened? How did you get out?"

"Missa. She has been rather helpful in many departments, unlocking the door, my restraints, telling me the truth… The truth is an amazing thing L. It can completely obliterate one's perception on reality, and clear one's mind impeccably." He half shouted. The noise from the helicopter being drowned out by the wind that, moments before was still, now blowing furiously.

Light looked up into the night sky, but L dare not let his eyes leave Light's form, mere inches away from certain death.

"I think, it's going to rain tonight."

"Light please come down from there."

"No I don't think so."

"Where is Missa?"

"She's locked in the bathroom, don't worry she will be all right, I trust that she will get Justice?"

"Is that what you are trying to do Light? Give the world Justice by killing yourself? That isn't Justice. It's the same thing you were doing before. It's the law's place to punish you Light. Not yours."

"What is Justice L? A bunch of old men, who wear black dresses, and in England, powdered wigs! Judging people for the rest of society? Playing god to only a small portion of the world. Never really seeing the real picture… If it works then why are there so many crying mothers L? Why is there _**so much**_ crime? Justice has failed the world."

"Look at America! 9/11. Where was the justice in that? Where!" His tone became suddenly vicious. "If I had succeeded, then all the innocent lives lost in a pointless war could have been saved. All those soldiers wouldn't have to fight for justice. Lose their lives for justice. It's spread too thin." He paused looking down at his bare feet, toes carefully sticking out over the ledge.

"I _**think**_ I wanted to unite the world under one Justice. If it had worked? L could you imagine it?" Light blinked looking back up at L. He had a sad grin "No you couldn't imagine that, could you… then you'd be out of a job wouldn't you?" Light laughed.

"Perhaps that is why you hold such conviction over capturing Kira…me. You need to stay in business or you wouldn't be able to provide for your sweet tooth." He took a deep breath and looked over the ledge. His tone turned suddenly somber. "I'm glad you built a tall building L."

"I have Kira's weapon. And I believe the key to your memories." The wind whipped their hair into their faces.

"…I don't want them."

40

"Please Light… I love you."

36

"You will get no pity from me L. You knew there was a high probability that our little tryst would end badly."

24

"78 percent."

20

"We can find a way. You don't have to be put to death… We could leave the country, you could work for me!"

8

7

Light shook his head and turned now teary eye's on his lover

3

2

"I… think I loved you L."

1

Light froze suddenly his eyes growing large. He spun his head towards L. L moved forward a few paces his wide black eyes bulging. Time seemed to stop for the two, wind blowing in slow motion through their hair whipping their clothes against them.

Light lifted his hands and stared at them for a moment before clutching his chest. An incredible pain ripped through his heart. His eyes met L's and the two shared a terrifying gaze as slowly Light began to fall back wards off the ledge and out of sight.


	11. Epilogue

I am now hard at work on Poison To The Plate…cocks rifle so no worries to those who have been waiting. Please don't expect much of this epilogue? aims at plot bunnies There may be some questions left, but I left them all intentionally for various…reasons…, (I think) BANG

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L sat playing pong on his computer. PONG! The great L was busying his mind with such a menial thing. Watari shook his head as he approached with a shining silver tray laden with L's requests.

"We got a call from Detective Klein, He says he has a case that you might find interesting."

"We won't be leaving Japan until Kira has been captured." Watari sighed wondering if L would even look at the email. L had become quite the procrastinator in the past months.

"L, it's been three months now. We have no leads. I think it best if you hand this case down to someone else."

"Watari, never have I given up on a case. I will not rest until Kira is behind bars."

"L… I know you don't want to hear this but… Kira has calmed with the killings. Its only once a week that a criminal dies. And judging from the profile, who ever is Kira is more than likely not here in Japan, maybe in northern Europe or America. But not here."

"I will not rest until Light has been avenged."

"L…"

"No Watari, You saw what happened. I wronged Light, it's the least I can do…" Watari put the tray on the desk and returned to his position by the cart.

"As you wish L." Watari retrieved the empty dishes, and retreated.

When Watari had left, the door closed securely behind him, L opened the hidden windows of news reports around the world. He clicked play and watched riveted to the screen as he blindly grasped for the notebook beneath the keyboard that he had efficiently hid from Watari.

He proceeded to flip to an empty page.

"…Gavin Pran was captured today in the downtown Chicago Plias shopping center. A anonymous caller identified him shopping inside circuit city." The screen showed a young man with small but cold eyes and dark black hair with stubble on his face. It looked as if the man had just tasted something extremely sour. "Mr. Pran stands accused of kidnapping and raping a 20 year old Michigan woman visiting Chicago. The police suspected that there have been others…" L toned out the rest of the report and quickly scribbled the man's name down on a page that was already half full of names.

A tall shadow blocked out what little light there was in the room from the nearly shut curtains.

"You are sure that the last of the rules are false Shinigami san?"

"Oh yeah, Light had me write those down to fool you… I still don't know what his plan was though."

"I think I understand his thinking."

"Ohhh Ryuzaki! Are those for me?" The shinigami was bouncing off the ceiling, his grin widened even beyond the mangled mess it usually bore. Light was eyeing the tray where a large bowl of red delicious apples sat looking as appetizing as possible.

"Yes shinigami san. Please make them last. I never made a habit of eating apples before, if I ask for more it will appear suspicious." Said L never taking his eyes off the screen of his computer.

"Ga i." Said the tall dark shinigami around a mouthful of core.

"Did you talk to Raito kun?" The shinigami looked hesitantly at L.

"Yeah… but he doesn't want to see you. You just keep to your end of the bargain and I will get him down here to see you." L had so many questions to ask the shinigami, but he knew they would for the most part go unanswered or else he would be given repetitive answers that he already knew.

The shinigami eyed the detective for a long moment before discreetly swiping another apple from the bowl.

"Hey L, do you really love Light?" L stopped typing and turned to the shinigami.

"Why did ratio kun say something?"

"Na, nothing like that." L looked up at the shinigami warily raising a brow.

"Then how do you know of our romantic affair?" The shinigami's pale skin tinged with a tiny hue of pink, L imagined the ratio to be one vanilla milk shake to one drop of strawberry syrup. Oh yes the shinigami knew of it.

"Oh, ha. Well..." The shinigami scratched the back of his head as he began to phase through the ceiling looking for escape.

"I see, well I will call for Watari to retrieve the apples, no use letting them sit here to rot." L shrugged. Getting this shinigami's attention was disgustingly simple. The shinigami phased back into the room looking worriedly between the apples and L. L fixed him with a steady gaze.

"Well I kinda… checked in on Light once… or twice."

"I see how convenient for a voyeur to become a shinigami."

"Hey you'll see, it gets boring as hell up there. There is nothing to do…but watch."

"Yes, I do suppose I will see for myself…"

The End.


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